A New Day

I went to the gym at my new apartment today after work and worked out for 30 minutes. I ate my designated meal prepped meals, with the exception of two chocolate chip cookies at work. I wish I wouldn’t have had them, but everyday will be a challenge.

I am going to challenge myself to work out 30 mins a day, five days a week. I am going to eat as healthy as possible and no meals or snacks after 9:30pm. As for today, I feel good. But the first day is always the easiest. It’s the days that follow that are always the hardest. I will conquer them this time. I have to..

Reality Check

I think it’s time that I have a reality check. Here it is the end of September, going into November, and nothing has changed. Reading my old blog posts from the beginning of the year has truly made me sad. Disappointed. Angry. This weight loss shit is hard. It’s even harder when you feel like you just can’t do it. I have a defeatist attitude when it comes to it. I am defeated before it even gets started. I have seen people change their lives from the beginning of the year to now while mine has stayed stagnant. I am tired. I am sick of associating negative words with my life. I want to live and be happy. I want to be free from myself, because at the end of the day, I’m the only one holding me back. Admitting this is easy. Doing something about it is the hard part.

My body is constantly in pain. My back, my legs, my feet are constantly sore or hurting, I am tired of being lazy. Of feeling lazy. Of wishing and hoping and pretending to be ok when I’m not. I am the cause of my own unhappiness so therefore I know I can hold the key to my own happiness. It is hard, but I know I have to do it…..